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THE SELF AS A TARGET OF PREJUDICE Friday, August 21, 2015 @ 7:32 AM Hi. In this modern era, most teenagers are experiencing self esteem problem where they tend to underestimate themselves while looking upon other people that they think great or perfect. It is pretty much normal for teenager to have problems about the self since this is the phase where they started to search for their real identity and explore new things. However, in some serious cases, there are quite number of teenager that had lost in finding their true self. One of the reasons might be due to social networking system (SNS) such as Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Usually people that are famous in these kind of social media are people with beautiful faces (need to know how to put your makeup on), handsome guys (need to have a few biceps and girls will go crazy on you) and rich kids (need to be creative on styling things up and eat at famous restaurant). It is a fact that common people always wanted to become one of those famous kind and they started to idolize them. It is never a good decision to believe in what shown in social media because social media is creating with a skill to deceive people. This kind of trend actually causes other people with ‘common’ faces or ‘common’ wealth to loss their self confidence and started to have prejudice towards them. Being prejudice to ourselves can affect our emotional, behavioral and also cognitive. The most harmful stage of prejudice to ourselves is when we feel useless in every situation we encountered. Personally I reckon those overthinkers can easily being in this stage. As what I can recalled, I was once being in this stage. Just once. There was this one day where I had full classes from morning to evening. I rode my college’s bus with ton of books on my hand and unfortunately I had to stand in the bus because all seats were taken. There was not even single sitting person that offers me their help to hold my books and honestly speaking, my heart started to break apart. I started to think that nobody wants to help me because I’m ugly and they don’t like me. People will only help girls with pretty faces. I also started to think that I won’t be able to get married, will dying alone as an old lady, and basically, I’m useless. I almost cry in the bus while my mind was filled with those kind of nonsense thinking. Perhaps I’m just a little bit emotional because I’m so tired that day. LOL. Luckily I’m a strong person, so I’m not much affected by this incident. Those people that are really belongs to this stage is very fragile I could say. They will always say that they have nothing to be proud of and always relate things that happened around them are caused by their presence. When this kind of people cannot dealt with these kind of thinking, they are more likely to suffer depression. Once you have depression, your physical and mental healths are exposed to more harmful consequences such as eating disorder (bulimia, anorexia), sleeping disorder, self hurting (cut yourselves) and even suicide. The least harmful stage of self prejudice is when we blame other people for our fall. As a self centered person, I do admit that I often engage in this kind of behavior especially around friends. Let me share a story. I have a friend that is very clever and she often gets the highest mark in the exam. However, there is this particular subject that she couldn’t score very well and she put the blames on her lecturer. She even unfollowed the lecturer on Instagram. After a few cursing words and drop of tears, she easily moved on from her failure. I mean that she never thinks that she is not good enough and her circumstances are the one that cause her to fail. Yeah, I also found her attitude quit annoying and immature for blaming other people but if this attitude helps her away from low self esteem and depression, so why not. I also had experienced behavioral consequences from self prejudice when I was in high school. When I was in form 4, I had once got a very excellent result that all the teachers and students started to praise me endlessly. Their expectations towards me also become higher than a mountain, hoping to get excellent results for the next exam so that our school ranking can increase. There was this one clever boy got transferred into my class. FYI, he is the most ignorance, evil, cruel and annoying person I ever met on this world. One day he came to me and said “I thought you are clever but actually you are quit stupid, you can’t even solve this simple question?”. I feel like my pride is being swallowed by him and he crush me into little pieces that is smaller than the atom. As a result, for the next exam I didn’t do as well as before because somehow I started to believe what he says and plus the pain of his deep words hurt me so much that it last for a very long time in both my brain and my heart. I know that some people may gain more strength when you’re being insulted because you want to prove yourself however it just doesn't work on me. People with self prejudice can have experienced cognitive impaired when they feel like they need to hide their real identity and worry on how other may perceive them. When I was in high school, I have an image of religious, modest and warm heated girl in front of everyone’s eyes. However, when I entered collage, I no longer have that kind of image in me. I started to wear shawl, buy pretty clothes, take a ‘selfie’ and posted it on instagram and etc. I enjoy my freedom and I’m so lucky to entered an almost all- girls class cause I got the opportunity to be the real me. Back then in high school I need to pretend (cover) a bit so that everyone likes me. Even though I’m happy with my current self, some of my high school friends said that I’m culture shock. They don’t expect a kampung girl like me to post ugly pictures of myself on instagram and even wearing a shawl. They treated my changes as if it is a big deal and the world would fall apart if I’m no longer the old me. I feel so suffocated to behave the way they want me to be and hide my true self. Whenever I want to post pictures on instagram, I will think a lot. Yes, A LOT. If I think that my old friends might criticize or judge me in the photos, I wouldn’t post it even though I really like the photos. Later I started to think whether to live my life the way my old friends want or the way I want and I realize that I don’t live to please them so I can do whatever I want with my life. not to be narcissist but I really likes my current self J Basically, people cannot avoid from being prejudice towards themselves because it is what normal people do. What matter the most is how people handle their emotion and action so that they wouldn’t harm themselves in all aspect. Remember, our physical and mental are not fully ours, so we must take a very good care of it cause God will take it later. Whenever you feel down, listen to these songs: (Siti Hana Diyana) 0 Comments: Post a Comment older post ► ◄ newer post	Home About eMail Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning - William A. Ward Hi oustanding people! Welcome to our stunning blog consisting of infinite social-psychological facts that will definitely captivate your enthusiasm and passion to learn more about this stupendous field. 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THE SELF AS A TARGET OF PREJUDICE

Friday, August 21, 2015 @ 7:32 AM

Hi.

In this modern era, most teenagers are experiencing self esteem problem where they tend to underestimate themselves while looking upon other people that they think great or perfect. It is pretty much normal for teenager to have problems about the self since this is the phase where they started to search for their real identity and explore new things. However, in some serious cases, there are quite number of teenager that had lost in finding their true self. One of the reasons might be due to social networking system (SNS) such as Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Usually people that are famous in these kind of social media are people with beautiful faces (need to know how to put your makeup on), handsome guys (need to have a few biceps and girls will go crazy on you) and rich kids (need to be creative on styling things up and eat at famous restaurant). It is a fact that common people always wanted to become one of those famous kind and they started to idolize them. It is never a good decision to believe in what shown in social media because social media is creating with a skill to deceive people. This kind of trend actually causes other people with ‘common’ faces or ‘common’ wealth to loss their self confidence and started to have prejudice towards them. Being prejudice to ourselves can affect our emotional, behavioral and also cognitive.

The most harmful stage of prejudice to ourselves is when we feel useless in every situation we encountered. Personally I reckon those overthinkers can easily being in this stage. As what I can recalled, I was once being in this stage. Just once. There was this one day where I had full classes from morning to evening. I rode my college’s bus with ton of books on my hand and unfortunately I had to stand in the bus because all seats were taken. There was not even single sitting person that offers me their help to hold my books and honestly speaking, my heart started to break apart. I started to think that nobody wants to help me because I’m ugly and they don’t like me. People will only help girls with pretty faces. I also started to think that I won’t be able to get married, will dying alone as an old lady, and basically, I’m useless. I almost cry in the bus while my mind was filled with those kind of nonsense thinking. Perhaps I’m just a little bit emotional because I’m so tired that day. LOL. Luckily I’m a strong person, so I’m not much affected by this incident.

Those people that are really belongs to this stage is very fragile I could say. They will always say that they have nothing to be proud of and always relate things that happened around them are caused by their presence. When this kind of people cannot dealt with these kind of thinking, they are more likely to suffer depression. Once you have depression, your physical and mental healths are exposed to more harmful consequences such as eating disorder (bulimia, anorexia), sleeping disorder, self hurting (cut yourselves) and even suicide.

The least harmful stage of self prejudice is when we blame other people for our fall. As a self centered person, I do admit that I often engage in this kind of behavior especially around friends. Let me share a story. I have a friend that is very clever and she often gets the highest mark in the exam. However, there is this particular subject that she couldn’t score very well and she put the blames on her lecturer. She even unfollowed the lecturer on Instagram. After a few cursing words and drop of tears, she easily moved on from her failure. I mean that she never thinks that she is not good enough and her circumstances are the one that cause her to fail. Yeah, I also found her attitude quit annoying and immature for blaming other people but if this attitude helps her away from low self esteem and depression, so why not.

I also had experienced behavioral consequences from self prejudice when I was in high school. When I was in form 4, I had once got a very excellent result that all the teachers and students started to praise me endlessly. Their expectations towards me also become higher than a mountain, hoping to get excellent results for the next exam so that our school ranking can increase. There was this one clever boy got transferred into my class. FYI, he is the most ignorance, evil, cruel and annoying person I ever met on this world. One day he came to me and said “I thought you are clever but actually you are quit stupid, you can’t even solve this simple question?”. I feel like my pride is being swallowed by him and he crush me into little pieces that is smaller than the atom. As a result, for the next exam I didn’t do as well as before because somehow I started to believe what he says and plus the pain of his deep words hurt me so much that it last for a very long time in both my brain and my heart. I know that some people may gain more strength when you’re being insulted because you want to prove yourself however it just doesn't work on me.

People with self prejudice can have experienced cognitive impaired when they feel like they need to hide their real identity and worry on how other may perceive them. When I was in high school, I have an image of religious, modest and warm heated girl in front of everyone’s eyes. However, when I entered collage, I no longer have that kind of image in me. I started to wear shawl, buy pretty clothes, take a ‘selfie’ and posted it on instagram and etc. I enjoy my freedom and I’m so lucky to entered an almost all- girls class cause I got the opportunity to be the real me. Back then in high school I need to pretend (cover) a bit so that everyone likes me. Even though I’m happy with my current self, some of my high school friends said that I’m culture shock. They don’t expect a kampung girl like me to post ugly pictures of myself on instagram and even wearing a shawl. They treated my changes as if it is a big deal and the world would fall apart if I’m no longer the old me. I feel so suffocated to behave the way they want me to be and hide my true self. Whenever I want to post pictures on instagram, I will think a lot. Yes, A LOT. If I think that my old friends might criticize or judge me in the photos, I wouldn’t post it even though I really like the photos. Later I started to think whether to live my life the way my old friends want or the way I want and I realize that I don’t live to please them so I can do whatever I want with my life. not to be narcissist but I really likes my current self J

Basically, people cannot avoid from being prejudice towards themselves because it is what normal people do. What matter the most is how people handle their emotion and action so that they wouldn’t harm themselves in all aspect. Remember, our physical and mental are not fully ours, so we must take a very good care of it cause God will take it later. Whenever you feel down, listen to these songs:

(Siti Hana Diyana)

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